Freelance writing as a new mom: A Q&A with acclaimed author Emi Nietfeld 

As soon as Emi Nietfeld’s acclaimed memoir “Acceptance” dropped in 2022, she felt ready for her next project: becoming a parent. The book — which chronicles Nietfeld’s path from homelessness and foster care to a Harvard education and Google gig, challenging the American fixation on “overcoming” along the way– took her seven years to write.

“Once that was out of the way, I could move on,” said Nietfeld, who left her job in tech in 2019 to focus on writing full-time. 

So, after a few personal and professional interruptions pushed back her family-building timeline, she and her husband welcomed their daughter in spring 2024. I talked to Nietfeld, who lives in New York City, about how she prepared her freelance business for the change, how new motherhood has (and hasn’t) influenced her writing routines and ideas, and what she’d tell other freelance journalists about nurturing their careers and creativity when a baby is on the way — if not already here. 

The interview has been lightly edited for brevity and clarity. 

Did you plan to take maternity leave? 

I looked everywhere to find what the ideal length of maternity leave is. The data really seems to suggest that six months is optimal for your child, and 12 months is optimal for your own physical and mental health. But I didn’t really want to be solo parenting for that long. 

My partner works in tech — that’s a big part of how we survive financially — and it’s really important to us to be equal parents as much as possible. So, because he was getting 12 weeks, I thought I’d take 12 weeks. That was my plan.

How did those 12 weeks go? 

I took the time off, but I got really bored really fast. Within about three weeks, I really wanted to be writing again. 

I ended up unintentionally landing an assignment right at the beginning of leave. I took an editor call two days after I gave birth, and I didn’t tell her at first that I had literally just had a baby. I thought, “I’m going to write this piece in the next week.” After a few days, I realized that’s crazy. It wasn’t going to happen.

So, I asked the editor if I could write the piece a few months later, when I was “back.” That worked out really well because then, I didn’t have the blank space of no assignments after my leave. It would have been really hard psychologically to have to pitch from scratch. 

I had another piece where I owed the editor a draft, but my water broke sooner than I expected. Because I already had a relationship with the publication, she learned quickly through another editor that I had given birth. She emailed me to say, “Take all the time you need.” I was able to work on that story when the baby was napping on my husband or in the crib. That piece came out while I was still on leave.

That’s my biggest tip: As much as possible, have work lined up for when you’re back, but not necessarily a full load.

What have been some unexpected challenges of freelancing during the postpartum period?  

There were definitely a few snafus. The day I gave birth, I got an email from a fellowship I applied for where they were like: Surprise! We’re going to interview people. 

So I dialed into this interview three days after I gave birth. They were going to tape the interview to show the board members. My eyes were puffy and it looked like I had been crying all morning, which I had. I told them, “I had such a horrible morning.”

They let me reschedule it for later that day. The fact that they were so supportive made me feel like it was something that I wanted to do. And I got the fellowship — it’s the Rosalynn Carter Fellowship for Mental Health Journalism.

Going to their annual conference was my first trip away from my baby at about three and a half months. Luckily, they were super accommodating. I had to pump six or seven times a day, but they made sure that I had the space, that I had a fridge, and that I was able to just leave when I needed to pump.

That first time was really stressful, but then a month later, I traveled again. Because I had already done it and I had a system, it was so much easier. 

What do your days look like now? 

I tend to get up at 7:15ish, whenever my daughter gets up. She eats. We go for a walk as a family. We eat breakfast. I usually feed her around 10 and put her down for her nap. Then I work as hard as I can for the next hour and a half. When she gets up, I feed her again. Then she goes to her childcare for the rest of the day.

I usually pump around 2 p.m., which is when I have a daily coworking session that I set up with some other women writers. We do it every morning at 11 a.m., and at 2 p.m. we have a check-in. Then,  we’re just on Zoom — usually cameras off. We share our goals, we provide accountability. That has really been so essential. So, I just try to work as absolutely hard as I can between that 12:30 and 6 p.m. slot. 

Then, I pick up my daughter. I feed her. We have our nighttime as a family until 8 p.m. That’s her bedtime. Then, I have about 90 minutes by myself or with my husband before I go to bed.

That’s an impressive amount of productive time — even without a baby. 

My husband is a manager, and so he’s always in meetings and can’t really compress his workday. That would drive me crazy.

You hear that you become more productive when you become a parent, and that’s been really true for me. It’s so nice to use your brain. 

I also feel like it’s really good for your creativity to have a lot of time for boredom and awareness. Having this kid, for me, has been like a meditation because I don’t want her to see me looking at my phone. So, then for three hours in the morning and two hours at night, we’re in the present, we’re in the moment. That’s been really good and really healthy.

What else would you tell other freelancers who have babies or are planning to become parents? 

Most of the editors I write for are women with kids. I didn’t plan it that way, but they have all been really lovely to me. Multiple editors have said, “If you ever have any questions about parenthood or need to vent, just reach out.”

The other thing we didn’t talk too much about is pregnancy. I was really surprised to be basically incapacitated during my first trimester. I only had about 45 minutes of productivity in me every day to write. So, during that period, I did zero freelance stories, and instead I worked on drafting a novel. I wish I had been warned that the first trimester is really the worst time, because after week 16 or so, I felt great. I’m really lucky; you can’t control that.

If somebody is breastfeeding or pumping, I believe the easiest way to do it is to be completely open. When I went to the conference, I would duck out and people would say, “Where are you going?” I just said, “I have to pump.” I think we have to normalize this. 

It was also really helpful that, during the pregnancy, I ended up developing or strengthening my relationships with editors. Before 2024, I was always trying to write for a new place. My goal last year was to stop chasing those bylines. That meant investing in relationships that I already had. I did get a lot of new bylines, but it was because that was what was right for the piece.

The final thing: If you’re planning to become a parent, it’s worth looking at your state’s paid parental leave and disability insurance. In New York, if you pay for disability insurance a few years in advance, you will get paid leave as a freelancer. I missed the boat.

Have the types of stories you want to write changed since becoming a parent? 

I did my first parenting story about this trend to not teach your kids how to share. That was really fun and eye-opening. Part of me feels a little self-conscious about doing parenting stories, though, because I feel like women are often shoehorned into: Oh, you’re a parent, are you going to write about mom stuff?

I have been looking for stories that are going to be a lower lift and really worth my while, because suddenly, the bar is a lot higher. Would I rather write this story or be with my kid? And is it worth the money? Even just to pay for childcare, now I have to be making at least $50 an hour to pay myself anything. That has shifted what publications I want to work for — or can afford to work for — now.